Posted October 30, 2012 by Jesse Caits
I’m bad at introductions, but I’m probably worse at making myself sound cool. Like last night, I made a casserole after I potted some new plants and watched Steel Magnolias. Then I got this song stuck in my head, and I couldn’t figure out what it was forever until I realized it was really just the Golden Girls theme song.
What I’m saying is I’m a grandmother. I just got excited because I did my laundry and now I have all clean towels. I’m going to wash my sheets next, and after that I’ll shower and use my nice, fresh towels and roll up in my nice, clean sheets, so I’ll be this weird casserole-eating towel grandma burrito.
I did just come home from San Francisco! Gosh, that place. I figure San Francisco folks probably have the best butts in the United States ’cause of all those hills. Stair stepper for LIFE. One day I want to live there and have a nice butt, too, and own lots of scarves and funny lamps and drink coffee all the time. San Francisco will always make me think of expensive scarves, funny lamps, and coffee. Also, weird fruit.
I’m in that phase after you’ve left somewhere you love where you can’t quite wash it off and get back to the daily grind. I’ll relate anything back to where I’ve been and how the air feels better there and how there are plant stores and hat stores and billions of different kinds of coffee.
The Giants won the world series while I was there, and while I am not a Giants fan, I am a fan of their fans. They were so happy they won that they set their buses on fire. We should all be so lucky to be moved to such joy for our city that we need to light it on fire.
I was a cat for Halloween since I was stranded there after my flight was delayed. So was every other person ever. It was either that or sexy allstate agent. I don’t even like cats. I guess I don’t like insurance either. Michelle Obama was a cat, too, though, so that’s nice. It’s like we’re friends.